THE BIG DECISION

March 5, 2010

I have a decision to make regarding my cancer treatments. I’m now at the point that it is weighing on my mind. Dr. Saundra Buys says because there is 1 mm of cancer in my lymph node. I should do chemotherapy. Taxatere and Cytoxin. Dr. Liz Hammond, pathologist said that the pathology is correct and that in the final diagnosis of the breast tissue the DCIS had high grade and intermediate grade cancer. So the microinvasive part might be high grade also. She said that my cancer DCIS was serious, she said to follow Dr. Buys recommendation and do chemo. When Dr. Buys put the #’s in the computer program, it’s only a 4% higher chance of survival with chemotherapy. Dr. Liz Prystas said to take tamoxifen and have radiation. That the risks of chemotherapy, are not worth the benefit. It is not obvious to all doctors that I should do chemotherapy and I feel so grateful to have the best doctors working on my case.

I had this moment in Dr. Buys office on Tuesday March 2nd. That this is another decision in my life that I should not leave up to anyone else that I have to make myself and the Lord knows I can make it.

So at 39 years old I am now faced with a big decision in my life; one I need to make right (correct). I have faith I will make the right choice. I am just not sure what I will do yet. I told Dr. Buys that my ward was fasting for me on Sunday and that we ( Jake and I) were making chemotherapy a spiritual decision as well; she respected this and said we would talk on Monday.

Today Gina Clay a nurse called and I asked her to send me all the info I needed to read on chemotherapy. She sent it. We talked about making a decision and not looking back. It’s good to know you did everything possible to cure your cancer. I started reading about all the side-effects…

Wow, at 12:11 pm Dr. Liz Prystas called, she said she had been thinking about my case all week, she said she had gone over the pathology again, spoken with Dr. Rosenthayl again regarding the pathology. She felt that my case was a different one and that it had been weighing on her mind all week. Now after reviewing it further she suggests I do chemotherapy, taxotere and cytoxin, the same kind Dr. Buys wants me to do. That in case the invasive cancer does not have the same properties (estrogen and progesterone positive) then tamoxifen will not effect my invasive cancer cells. After she told me her new feelings on my case I told her that she was the answer to my prayer. That I had made this a spiritual decision because the doctor’s were at odds on what to do, everyone was scratching their heads. So I knew the decision was up to me and I have been praying for clarity. I believe my clarity has come loud and clear. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me and answers my prayers and has a plan for my life. I am grateful for amazing doctors who study long hours and think about and love their patients. I am grateful for Dr. Prystas’ courage and strength to call me personally and advise me of her new decision for my case. I feel at peace!

Being the young women president in my ward. On Feb. 28^th I told the young women of the new decision I had to make regarding my cancer treatments. I told them that I knew God would give me clarity on this decision that he would not leave me alone. I didn’t know how this clarity would come or when it would come but I knew it would come and it came, very powerful to me of an answer to my prayer. I’m so grateful for the knowledge that I have that God lives and loves me personally.

I love our young women theme scripture, Joshua 1:9. Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage, be NOT afraid neither be though dismayed for the Lord they God is with thee whithersoever though goest.